I have realised something, something deeply rooted within myself. I don’t know if by reading The Examined Life BY Stephen Grosz has made me more analytical towards my own thought processes, but choice overwhelms me. Too much choice makes me not want to choose at all. It makes me anxious.
Being a bookworm, I specifically find that going into Waterstones (especially a four-floored one) to be very dazzling. There are just so many different books, with completely different adventures waiting to be explored inside. It’s not difficult to pick up a book and be enchanted by the blurb. Knowing there are a thousand more on the shelves capable of doing the same is what makes me hesitate. The trouble is keeping one book in your hand and taking it to the till; what if I have made the wrong choice?
I have recently made a decision to begin reading classic literature, but as I approach that section in the store, I am unable to pick which one to read first, never mind which published version to pick or whether to buy paperback or hardback. Disappointingly, I find myself leaving empty handed.
Then I get thinking about a menu in a restaurant. If the menu isn’t bursting with different starters, mains and desserts, I automatically assume that that restaurant isn’t a good place to eat. However, when looking at a menu that consists of more than three pages, the choices available overwhelms me, and picking what to have becomes a difficult task, one that results in an impatient grumbling stomach and a foot-tapping partner opposite me.
Making choices tends to generate change, especially the big choices. So if you are unable to make decisions or view the many options in a positive light, how can you ever appreciate the changes that occur? With too many choices, I find myself rushing to attempt the next option. For instance, I went into Birmingham library to explore their many floors, one of which contains a room dedicated to Shakespeare. Due to being an English student I obviously climbed the many stairs (over a hundred) to reach this room. However when arriving on the top floor, I could see from the balcony the four-floored Waterstones I really wanted to visit during my time in Birmingham. I quickly glanced around the Shakespearean room before descending down the stairs that ten minutes previous I was so eager to climb, pursuing my next choice without fully appreciating the one I was completing.
I always feel like I am in a rush to experience, learn or attempt everything that interests me, ultimately failing to experience anything due to the profuse amount of choice.